Alan – Page 33 – Traditores

No, We Aren’t the Center of the Universe…

Posted on June 25, 2011July 11, 2011 by Alan

One of the advantages to working for Dartmouth College for a couple years was that I could attend one course free per quarter. I did not avail myself enough of that benefit, but I did take one class that reviewed motion picture portrayals of Native Americans. As you can probably imagine, much of the curriculum's focus was on negative depictions of America's indigenous population including "white savior" plot lines. If you are unfamiliar with the term "white savior," have you seen "Dances With Wolves"? Kevin Costner (as John Dunbar) is a white savior. How about "Avatar"? Sure, that movie isn't a western and the Na'vi aren't Native Americans, but Sam Worthington (as Jake Sully) is a white savior. Regardless of whether some of these films are positive in that they represent indigenous people as having more wisdom (or greater spirituality or better character) than the evil racist white man ("Dances With Wolves") or the nefarious greedy corporation ("Avatar"), a pale-skinned male of European descent ends up saving the day.

The reason this comes to mind is because today my son Mikey, his friend Chris, and I attended "The Green Lantern." If you aren't familiar with that comic book hero, one important tidbit is that the Lantern's ring chooses the wearer, not visa versa. After some initial "introduction to key characters" scenes, the three of us saw how the imminent death of another alien Green Lantern led to Ryan Reynolds (as ace pilot Hal Jordan) being selected for the honor…and responsibility…of bearing the ring. The soul-seeing piece of jewelry detected something in Jordan that even Jordan didn't know he had.
Continue reading “No, We Aren’t the Center of the Universe…”

Even Doofuses Need Jesus

Posted on June 18, 2011June 25, 2011 by Alan

After an article has formed in my mind, I try to think of a catchy title—something that will make the average person at least wonder what the piece is about (while at the same not being a bait-and-switch). As this one continues you will probably be able to guess what I intended to have in the place of "Doofuses" in the title, but it just wasn't meant to be. Although as an elementary school child I used the now-personally-banished term as a form of "jerk" (and a mild one at that), a little research on the web confirmed my fears about its origin. It was actually a bit more worrisome to find that another replacement I might have chosen also originally referred to the same body part. I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that people don't hesitate anymore to use curse words or that (even in the more "innocent" decade of the 70's) a goody-two-shoes grade schooler was unwittingly a potty-mouth.

Either way, one would have to be pretty insulated from all forms of media to not have heard of the Twitter behavior of a soon-to-be-former U.S. Representative, Anthony Weiner. What I did not expect to see in the aftermath of his reprehensible actions (both in the tweets and in the lies that followed) was someone as respectable as Dr. Albert Mohler being dragged into the conversation. Strangely enough, it too was a tweet that got some people a bit cranky with him. Continue reading “Even Doofuses Need Jesus”

Indubitably

Posted on June 12, 2011July 10, 2011 by Alan

Power outage

I don’t know if anyone noticed, but last week’s sermon was shorter than normal. Good news for those of you who prefer briefer talks…this one will likely be too.

The kids are probably praying it becomes the norm. 🙂

Either way, assuming you all were in the area this past Thursday, what did you think of the lightning storm we had? Michelle got a great picture of the menacing clouds that she posted on the Monadnock Region – NH Facebook page…and if you check out my Facebook page, you’ll see a short video of how the winds were mercilessly whipping the trees just before the rain became heavy. Talking to our neighbors, we actually had what seemed a bit of tornado-like activity…trees behind our house were being blown one way, trees behind his the other. To give you an idea of just how wild it was, a large piece of metal that covered the front edge of our home just below the roof was ripped off and was deposited in the dog pen on the other side of the house. That either means up-and-over or…tornado-like…around.

Continue reading “Indubitably”

Awake!

Posted on June 11, 2011June 25, 2011 by Alan

In a previous article I noted that as the years have weathered my body, in the physical realm I have had to learn to be satisfied with pass/fail instead of "winning" (as in, being happy I was able to get to the top of Mount Cardigan instead of worrying about whether I was passing or being passed on the way up). Exercise can remedy some of that, but ultimately our bodies' warrantees start running out as we reach middle age, and we begin to need more than just oil changes to keep our engines running smoothly.

This morning also reminded me how I am long past being able to pull an all-nighter. One of my faults (or strengths, depending on how you look at it) is that if I run into a problem programming, I can't stop until I have solved it. Not so bad if the fiendish issue raises it's head about noon—not so good if it does at 1:30AM. (Of course, one might ask about the wisdom within programming past midnight anyway. That's where my other flaw/strength—needing a good stopping point—kicks in.)

Either way, after an unrestful handful of hours of sleep (interrupted by various noises and an awesome "Happy Birthday!" from Augie…who also insisted on seeing my eyes open) I groggily climbed out of bed…and had a Scripture fuzzily pop into my head. I'm not 100% positive, but there is a chance it was this one: Continue reading “Awake!”

20 Days

Posted on June 5, 2011June 11, 2011 by Alan

Perhaps one of the worst reports we can hear is that of a baby unexpectedly passing away overnight. As a parent of a three year-old, I don't want to even consider what it would mean to tuck my tike into bed one evening and then find he's no longer breathing in the morning. Can anyone argue with Theoden in "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" when he says, "No parent should have to bury their child"?

Especially when that child is only 20 days old.

And the death of an infant leads to many questions. Perhaps the most common type can be summed up in a single word.

Why?

Continue reading “20 Days”

Donne on the Brain

Posted on June 5, 2011June 5, 2011 by Alan

May 21

A couple of recent events…on national, one local…are the genesis of this sermon. Well, I should probably say one non-event, and one tragic event…birthed these words. Perhaps the incidents will cause you to consider some of the same things I did.

First, the national non-event. As most of you are probably aware, non-believers (and quite a few Christians) had a field-day as May 21 approached because an aging preacher, Harold Camping, was predicting the Rapture on that Saturday. As the complete lack of an increase in missing persons reports attests, Mr. Camping was mistaken…something he even admits. However, he is convinced his error was only in thinking something physical was going to happen that day…instead it was a spiritual Judgment Day…

But he is sticking by his prediction that the world completely ends on October 21.

Boy, I can’t wait for the ridicule to be repeated weeks leading up to that Friday…as we Christian believers are often lumped in with that false prophet, even if it is only implicitly…

Continue reading “Donne on the Brain”

“Soldiers also asked him, ‘And we, what shall we do?'”

Posted on May 29, 2011June 5, 2011 by Alan

Holiday Sermons

I’ve noted before that I’m not a big fan of holiday sermons. Perhaps it’s the rebellious part of my nature that takes umbrage at the command implicit in expectations for an appropriately-themed talk.

Or maybe it’s because it’s because attending those services is often like watching the same TV episode too close to the first time I saw it—often great portions of the sermons are what we hear every year when that given holiday comes around. For example, I’ve noted before how I find it interesting how Mother’s Day sermons always talk about how great moms are and…and Father’s Day sermons are always about how dads should be more responsible. 🙂

However, as I was thinking about what to speak about this week, I didn’t experience my normal aversion to the idea of a holiday-themed talk when the notion of doing a Memorial Day sermon popped into my mind. Additionally, I immediately knew which Scripture I wanted to use as a jumping-off point…

Continue reading ““Soldiers also asked him, ‘And we, what shall we do?’””

The Prayer of a Child

Posted on May 28, 2011May 28, 2011 by Alan

Michelle, Augie, and I were returning from Bible Study yesterday, and (as is quite often true) I had my iPod playing on shuffle through the car's stereo. I believe were were enjoying a song by Christina Anu when Augie made a simple request. (If you are not familiar with Anu, she's an Australian singer whose largest hit was, "My Island Home.")

What was Augie's entreaty?

From the back seat he said, "Augie's church music?"

Christina Anu shouldn't be insulted at the little guy's request for a change of genre—Augie knows that I have quite a few of his songs in my library, and it's good that kids like hearing other kids sing. What was surprising was that just after he asked…within a couple seconds…VeggieTales came on.

A little blonde curly-haired boy petitioned, and the Lord delivered. God blessed our music-loving munchkin. Continue reading “The Prayer of a Child”

We Are Comfortable in Our Misery

Posted on May 22, 2011June 5, 2011 by Alan

Why? Why? Why?

Abuse in relationships…

We’ve all heard the horror stories of a woman whose husband abuses her physically and emotionally…yet she never leaves. No matter how many times she has to wear glasses to hide a black eye…no matter how many excuses she has to make for a bruise or a break…

She stays with her tormentor.

Even worse, sometimes when the police finally get enough evidence to intervene, the woman actually physically defends the man who has been assaulting her.

As a quick, but important caveat, in no way is this meant to blame the victim…

Continue reading “We Are Comfortable in Our Misery”

Poof!

Posted on May 20, 2011June 5, 2011 by Alan

Within some Seventh-day Adventist circles there is a joke connected with how strict Adventists are unlikely to wear jewelry (even a wedding band is avoided). The only jewelry allowed has to be functional—for example, a watch. (To be fair, although I might come to a more tempered conclusion, they have valid reasons for their aversion to bling.)

So…the story goes…these Adventists get to heaven and everyone gets a crown but them. Obviously they are a bit perplexed, but God quickly explains that they get a special one.

And then He reveals crowns with a clocks in their centers. 🙂

Now, for some reason that joke comes to mind when I think of another humorous hypothetical celestial situation. We all know that pride is one of the seven deadly sins (see Proverbs 6:16-19)…so one time I was thinking of a scenario after a saint arrives in heaven. He's really, really excited to finally see Jesus face to face…and (of course) he isn't disappointed. Continue reading “Poof!”

Living in Ordinary Time

Posted on May 17, 2011May 20, 2011 by Alan

"I'm so very, ordinary / Nothing special, on my own.
Oh I, have never / Walked on water.
And I have never / Calmed a storm."

So begins Nicole C. Mullen's inspirational song, "Call on Jesus." The reason that track comes to mind is because as I quickly head toward my 47th birthday I see how few of my youthful ambitions have come to fruition. No, I'm not dead yet, but the Fahrner genes are such that I am likely significantly past the half-way mark of my time here on earth.

I don't know about you, but growing up I really thought I could do anything I wanted to. (Isn't that what we still teach children…that they can be whatever they want to be?) For that matter, as a youngster I planned on securing the ultimate American job—President of the United States—even figuring out the earliest I could run based on the minimum age of 36. (I guess I should have given George W. Bush and Al Gore a run for their money in 2000…might have prevented a bunch of hanging chads.) Continue reading “Living in Ordinary Time”

The World According to Baljeet

Posted on May 17, 2011May 19, 2011 by Alan

Mount Cardigan in Orange, New Hampshire isn't terribly tall, peaking at 3,121 feet. Additionally, the main trail is a short hike of 1.3 miles. However, a good portion of it has a sharp inclination, especially as the trees thin and the granite becomes prolific. It was perhaps three quarters of the way up the mountain last Saturday that I realized something…but hold that thought.

Let's first let's talk a little about Baljeet's experience at rock (as in music) camp. Reacting to a Banshee-type screech they (and others) heard, Phineas and Ferb searched out the source and discovered it was their Indian friend Baljeet doing a "fail wail" because he feared he would flunk "Summer Rocks" (which he mistakenly signed-up for thinking it was a geography class). Continue reading “The World According to Baljeet”

Osama

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Alan

Last night, just before turning my iPad off and going to sleep, it really felt like I should set my Facebook status based on the death of Osama bin Laden. This is what I settled on:

‎”Say to them, As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die…?” (Ezekiel 33:11, ESV)

I look forward to a future where _nobody_ dies, but for now I am thankful for those who protect us from those like Osama bin Laden.

Followed by immediately adding this comment:

Although, I much rather everyone, including our worst enemies, be saved…as would our Lord: “…God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:3b-4).

Now, I am not near as Christ-like as those quotes might imply. I am glad that there has been closure on this aspect of that evil day over nine years ago, and I am happy that a person who wanted to kill my family, friends, neighbors, and me is no longer around to try to fulfill his wishes.

But I do stand by those statements and, as unlikely as it is, hope somehow God reached Osama just before before a bullet ended his life and he’ll unexpectedly greet me when I arrive in heaven.

Finally, to those who might quickly suggest I am judging someone’s eternal fate—agreed, I cannot read any individual’s heart and only God decides whether we are sheep or goats…wheat or tares. Let’s just all throw political correctness and faux saintliness aside, be honest about it, and admit that if Christians and/or Jews are right, the most likely resting place for this infamous terrorist is with the wicked (whether it’s Rob Bell’s, John MacArthur’s, or some other version of hell).

And that fact should make us cry, not celebrate.

Running on Empty

Posted on May 1, 2011May 17, 2011 by Alan

Last week I mentioned the sermon's title, "And Then There Were None," was unintentionally the same as a book by Agatha Christie. This week, I chose "Running on Empty" fully well knowing that there was a song and record by Jackson Browne with the same name. Now, that's not my favorite Jackson Browne song—if I had to choose one it would be the combo of "The Load Out" and "Stay" on the same record…although if I was going to choose my favorite song about touring, nothing beats the live version of "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band.

Although I'm sure you all wish we could keep talking about 70's music, just like last week's talk didn't parallel the Christie novel, this one really has no connection to the Jackson Browne song. I just like the title. 🙂

And Then There Were None

Last week's sermon wrapped-up like a television show's season finale. It ended with Jesus "yielding up his spirit" (Matthew 27:50)…but that really wasn't the worst of it. Instead, before His end…

Continue reading “Running on Empty”

The Invisible Fire Engine

Posted on April 30, 2011May 17, 2011 by Alan

Heading into town today to fix a friend's laptop, I was partway down Elm Avenue when I noticed one of our neighbors had a large old firetruck parked off to the left. I commented to Michelle that it was kind of cool, and she replied that it had been there quite a while. Now, it's not like that sizable truck was right next to the road, but it was still a bit embarrassing, considering how often I have gone past it in my car (and on my bicycle). Clearly, whatever I've had on my mind the last six months (or longer) has made the fire engine invisible to me. Continue reading “The Invisible Fire Engine”