This is a post that I meant to write three weeks and a few days ago. Although the company I work for is great, conditions as of late have made me feel I have little control of my fate—that I am trapped by circumstances.
I am sure I could have done certain things more effectively, but am convinced I have done a good (perhaps great) job given what was on my and my department’s plate.
But, it doesn’t matter. I am trapped like the moth in this picture. I don’t really advertise all that I am accomplishing (nor my successes), and as such often cannot even put them in words. Instead, all certain people see are what I could have done better (or that they perceive I could have done better), not all I did in the background that made the incredible look mundane.
So, as I saw this poor moth trying vainly to escape while I was enjoying a soda at the local convenience store…it hit me I felt like the poor winged creature. Trying soooooooo hard, but with an impossible (and somewhat invisible) shield between us and what we want (for it freedom, for me the next step in my career).
In situations like this perhaps a moth is better off. Sure, wildly fluttering its wings is fruitless, but it doesn’t realize it. It doesn’t question if others are right and it has failed at X, Y, and Z. It doesn’t get depressed, have trouble sleeping, or worry about the future. It doesn’t look into the eyes of its family and wonder if it is a lousy provider.
It also doesn’t think about eternity, and wonder why during troubling times it feels more distant from God instead of closer.
At best I have a weak faith.
And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:23-25, English Standard Version).
As luck would have it, just as I was arriving home from the bicycle ride (that I interrupted to grab that Diet Mountain Dew) I ended up fracturing my left elbow. However, before I left the establishment I carefully carried the moth outdoors and set it free.
And some day Jesus will return and, dead or alive, I will be set free from all the cares of this world and join Him in the clouds, weak faith or strong.